New life in my belly. It flips, it turns, it gurgles.
His hand on my belly, a bump, a tiny movement.
At four months I can now feel this thing growing inside me that up until now has been the most weirdly abstract thing I have ever experienced. A thing that caused intense tiredness, some sickness that either spoilt the whole day or were random moments over as soon as they started.
The smell of coffee, the taste of tomatoes, the chemicals in our newly renovated and new to us flat. Pollution. Uncooked fruits. Salty food now. But this all has passed, except varnish.
Now it is more real. It could be a girl, we could start saying ‘she’ instead of ‘it’ when referring to my belly over which trousers no longer close.
Planned, unplanned? A surprise for sure. Told for years it would be difficult, and then BANG, it is here, changing my life, already. How much will it change? A lot. But will our lives as they are now have to stop? The concerts, the Sunday market, the romantic, sunny week in Sevilla, spontaneous beers with friends or colleagues.
Eat more fish, less caffine, no alcohol, or maybe a sip, bed earlier, looser clothes, exercise but no jumping, yoga: “renvoie le bébé dans le dos”.
The scans. Its development from a small bean inside, to a human-like form in weeks, to a visible heart pumping fast, fingers, toes, eyes, ears. 19 weeks now, 4 months, 5 to go. October, October, what will you bring? Fear, tiredness, relationship strain, a bundle of joy? not knowing what to do, alone, just the three of us, just the two of us. When will our couple be alone again? Will the romance go? Will we cope?
Of course we will. Adapt, change, stay the same, grow.
